Well, would you look at this, (please do) two consecutive days of new posts by yours truly. I don’t know how or why it happened all of a sudden, after what has been a significant creative drought, but I can tell you a bit of the genesis for today’s issue. This morning as I crawled back into bed for what was to be a bit of a recovery from a terrible night’s sleep, a few inklings of an idea began forming and kept repeating themselves in my mind, I knew then that if I tried to take that nap those words would probably disappear forever. So, I forewent the sleep and went to work on this current masterpiece. Most of which is entirely fiction, I don’t have any neighbors named Jones, or Mrs. Dare for that matter (the names have been changed to protect the innocent, as they say on TV) and anyway, arrest records are generally sealed if you behave yourself for a specified period of time. But I digress, it took about an hour to come up with the first draft and about fifteen additional minutes just before it went to press for the final draft. Please remember that this is a work of fiction, I did mention that didn’t I?
Every weekend should have a bit of good humor to it, if it is to be worthwhile and whether or not, this falls under that category remains solely up to you, the reader. Please get a chuckle if you will and let me know if you think that I, ah, I mean the main character was punished excessively, or not, for his transgressions.
Enjoy your weekend everyone,
Jake.
Hi, Neighbor
Well, I’m sipping summer tea
just as sweet as it can be
while in a rocking chair
on the front veranda.
Now, I’d be rocking in the back
except for this one fact
that the police came
and read me my “Miranda’s”!
*
You see, there is this Mrs. Jones
who has fine parts upon her bones
who lives about
a hundred feet away.
Now, I won’t say I bore a torch
but while rocking on that porch
I noticed that a single tree
stood in my way.
*
As her bedroom window faced
with curtains sheer and laced
directly in my view
save for that tree,
so on a recent Saturday morn
when I knew that she was gone
I took out my trusty saw
and set it free.
*
Well, all went well you see
for about two weeks or three
each night I had the best seat
in the house.
That is until that day
when she chanced to glance my way
at the time she’d normally
remove her blouse.
*
And thus the glint off of my glass
then caused what came to pass
and the cops showed up at my place
in a trice.
And then they took me off to jail
and I had to go the bail
I had no idea they considered
this a vice.
*
So, since then I’ve planted trees
for hours on my knees
until I can’t see her house
for all the green,
and as I rock here in my chair
I still don’t think that it is fair
restraining orders puts such limits
on my scene.
*
The ankle bracelet is enough
and the time I spent in cuffs
should have been sufficient
price to pay.
But, now I’m forced to stare
at old and wrinkled, Mrs. Dare
in her see-through negligee
all night and day!
***
Jack Downing
Apr. 2016
Copyright© Jack Downing, aka Jake @poemsandponderings.wordpress.com. All rights reserved. Contents may not be
reprinted or disseminated in any manner without the expressed, written consent of the author. JRD. 4/22/26
Your muse is back! I loved this one and it set my day off with a giggle thinking about you with an ankle bracelet on. Poor Jake. 🙂
Oh, and the rocking chair didn’t? lol..Thanks Beth Ann as always I appreciate your valued input.You know as well as anyone how you can’t just let some (creative?) thought slip away without acting on it, or it is gone forever or at least loses some of its edge. Thanks again.
Welcome back, Jake. This made me chuckle. I’m glad you set aside sleep to pen this humorous piece. If you hadn’t, the idea would have slipped away. I’ve been in the same position of having to rouse myself from bed to write how a story line or words, too, knowing full well if I didn’t, they would vanish in my sleep.
I think anyone who writes has made the mistake of not answering the call, and regretted it Audrey..
I agree. 🙂
I think anyone who writes has made the mistake of not answering the call and has regretted it..
A bit of the blarney I see!!
A bit of truth stretching perhaps.