Come Join The National Guard

     Okay, I’m back. And I’m going to start you off with another from the song lyric file. Again it is a humorous, (I think) bit of word play intended for listening pleasure, but for now I’ll be happy if it invokes some reading pleasure.

     Have yourselves a light-hearted Saturday, but please remember our people in uniform in your prayers. For while this is intended to be humorous, their job is not.

Jake.

Only one weekend a month, and two weeks a year.

Come Join The National Guard

Well, it’s just my luck,

our politicians suck,

and my neighbors ain’t so great.

My car is junk,

I’m in a funk,

and my girlfriend says she’s late.

But, that’s not so bad,

it ain’t why I’m sad,

So, now allow me to relate.

*

I was notificated,

I’ve been activated,

come join, the National Guard.

One weekend a month,

two weeks a year,

it really ain’t that hard.

You’ll travel to far-off places,

and see lots of friendly faces.

Just sign right here, and we’ll get you an ID card.

*

So you can imagine, my chagrin,

when that notice, it came in,

sayin’ ‘pack your bags, you’re off to a foreign shore.’

That was when I sat and cried,

just to think, that they had lied,

I thought that only happened in the ‘Corps.’

Now they’re sending me, to that far-off land,

with a rifle in my hand,

to see all those ‘friendly faces’ I am sure.

*

 Yes, I was notificated,

I’ve been activated,

come join the National Guard.

One weekend a month,

two weeks a year,

it really ain’t that hard.

You’ll travel to far-off places,

and see lots of friendly faces.

Just sign right here, and we’ll get you an ID card.

*

 Now on the day I’m to report,

I am due in Municipal Court,

to settle up a matter from my past.

They say I have some unpaid fines,

and if I pay, I won’t do time,

but, that will surely take, my dollar last.

So, will I stay or will I go?

As of now I just don’t know,

but, I sure know that day, is coming fast.

*

Will I sail off to some foreign shore,

or go to court and stay here poor?

Seems I’m between a hard place, and a rock!

Or will I sit in county stir,

on my return, from who knows where,

and will they “lose” the key, to my cell’s lock?

Or will the stockade be my fate,

just because I reported late,

I don’t know what to do, ‘cause I’m in shock!

*

‘Cause, I was notificated,

I’ve been activated,

come join, the National Guard.

One weekend a month,

two weeks a year,

it really ain’t that hard.

You’ll travel to far-off places,

and see lots of friendly faces.

Just sign right here, and we’ll get you an ID card.

*

 Well, I guess I’ll take my chances

that they’ll send me to Paris. France’s,

very pretty, I’m told, this time of year.

Then I’ll write the court a note,

as I sail off on that boat,

and after I’ve stored away, all of my gear.

Yeah, once that I have settled in,

I’ll grab some paper and a ballpoint pen,

and tell that judge that I will see him in a year!

*

‘Cause I’ve been notificated,

I’ve been activated,

come join the National Guard.

One weekend a month,

two weeks a year,

it really ain’t that hard.

You’ll travel to far-off places,

and see lots of friendly faces.

‘Cause I signed right there, and they got me an ID card!

***

 Jack Downing

Sep. 2012

Copyright©   Jack Downing, aka Jake @poemsandponderings.wordpress.com. All rights reserved. Contents may not be reprinted or disseminated in any manner without the expressed written consent of the author. JRD. 11/24/12