The World’s Worst Fisherman

       Speaking from experience, with fishing, you either have it or you don’t. The love has to be inside of you and nurtured to the point of it becoming a challenge, you against the fish. You, with all of your equipment and prowess, your lures and or your bait, head out at all times of the day and night to confront the beast of the black lagoon, or wherever it is that you go to angle. (I always wondered about the angling thing, any ideas?) While the beast lies in wait to make a fool out of you and steal the said bait, or “lure” you into casting your line into a labyrinth of roots and weeds, thereby depriving you of your favorite spoon or spinner or whosamajiggy. I on the other hand learned at a young age, fishing was not for me. I could not, for the life of me get the hang of it no matter how often I went or where…nothing. Early morning, late at night, cloudy day, in the rain…nothing. So, I have bestowed upon myself the title of the “World’s Worst Fisherman.”

Hey, it’s Tuesday and things are a little slow.


The World’s Worst Fisherman 

The wisest of salmon

avoid my hook

and the shrewder still

my bait will crook

perhaps I should have

read a book

before I angled

for the great Chinook.


Upstream from saltwater

adapting to fresh

hundreds upon hundreds

for miles do they stretch

practically begging

for me, them to catch

but I may as well fish

in the strawberry patch!


For I couldn’t snag one

on a dare or a bet

I’ve been here for hours

and I ain’t got one yet

so I have two choices

and while one is a net

the other’s the monger

where they’re no longer wet.


Jack Downing

Dec. 2011

©copyright Jack Downing, aka Jake All rights reserved. Contents may not be reprinted or disseminated in any manner without the expressed consent of the author. JRD 12/06/11



About poemsandponderings

Hearth and Health are wonderful things and if you're without either such sorrow that brings So I cannot express enough thanks to my Lord and to my family and friends for the support you afford! ~Jack Downing~
This entry was posted in crystal rivers, early risers, Earth and Us, ecology, environment, humor, the shore. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The World’s Worst Fisherman

  1. Would stop by the grocery store on the way home after another unsuccessful day to buy a few red snapper. But folks soon “caught ” on. You can’t “catch” a salt water fish in fresh water lakes and canals.

    • See, fishIS brain food..My advice,,, stop feeding smart people. Had a delicious piece of Fried Haddock on Saturday, flaky white meat, creamy tartar sauce, hmm, hmm good, sorry Campbells. I grew up on afish on Friday diet, so now only on occasion do I indulge. After respondingto your commentthis morningI am now getting a craving for fried clams, thanks a lot Carl..They are not Jake.


  2. Beth Ann says:

    I’m hooked….hahahhahah! Happy Tuesday!

  3. adeeyoyo says:

    Lovely poem, Jack. I am addicted to fishing, but have never tried inland. I used to fish in the surf and in Durban bay for years and years.

    • The only place I have ever had any luck was deep sea fishing. So I guess it is true, there are plentymore fish in the ocean.(People would always tell me that when a girl broke up with me.) Thanks Denise. Jake.


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