Desperation

  Please believe me when I say to you, that this is just a story, purely fiction, originating from an unknown region of my mind. Words tumble together sometimes without intent or direction until that imaginary light bulb goes on above my head and I simply go with whatever subject or lineage that follows. This, is one of those. In that it has no thread or connection to my personal life whatsoever, as I am as mellow a person as you will find. And the mere thought of being this depressed, I cannot comprehend. I  was raised by good-natured, life-loving parents, and we were taught to find the bright side of situations and that tomorrow will be better, if we let it.

     So, with all that being said, I give you a tragic, dark, and all too familiar story. May we all thank God for our good fortune, and pity those without hope!  I sincerely pray that this does not bring sorrow or pain to anyone who reads it… It’s just a story. As you can tell I’m a bit concerned about how it will be received.

Jake.

Desperation

 Alone in the room,

gun in his hand,

pen and paper on the table,

to his right.

Deeply troubled, wondering,

will they understand,

or anyone be able,

to see beyond, the sight?

The torment, that I have within,

is private, just for me.

It will not near the surface,

and be shared.

But, the haunting, deep inside,

I must now, set it free.

This life now, without purpose,

not be spared.

Then with a final drink,

his hand went calm.

His mind, as clear as ever,

in his recall.

No choice remained,

though, some be harmed,

and he must be the lever,

to cause, a tear to fall.

The pain endured throughout,

a life of desperation,

is like a river, and it’s bank.

Flooded, finally overflows,

and at its crest, no more be held.

Breaks, from all its reservations,

and rushes fore and flank,

to broach, what no one knows.

Jack Downing

Apr. 2011

Copyright© Jack Downing, aka Jake @poemsandponderings.wordpress.com. all rights reserved. Contents may not be reprinted or disseminated in any manner without the expressed written consent of the author. JRD.

  

About poemsandponderings

Now Spring has arrived and now I must decide, which clothes that I can still wear. But I haven't lost any weight so I guess it's my fate to rummage through my closet and swear.
This entry was posted in blood and gore, demise, Family, God, gun, haunting, life, mourning, peace, Short Stories, Sleep, tears, thoughts, torment, torment, tranaquility, violence, whiskey and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Desperation

  1. adeeyoyo says:

    Very well described considering that it’s fiction, Jake. I have been in that place and remember clearly I was calm as ice.

  2. Beth Ann says:

    Very good, Jamocha. I think if we were all honest with ourselves there might have been moments of despair in all of our lives where we have just wondered if it is worth it all. Not to the point of seriously contemplating suicide but just wondering and being so overwhelmed with sadness that we wonder how we will go on. Your selection today just put into words what I suspect many feel. I have known of several who have chosen this route and it is so difficult to realize that this was what they felt was their only option. The sadness that comes over the family and friends after a suicide is just hard to manage. Your post did not make me sad—you should be proud of it. It is very well done.

    • Thank you Beth Ann, you are a stalwart in my blogging life. A few years ago I was working in South Boston, and there was a rash of teenage suicides around that time, and that is possibly the saddest thing in the world. It is hard enough to be a teenager, what with the hormones and peer pressure and all, then to lose allhope just when your life is beginning isso unimagineable. The pain and suffering that the familieshad to endure, I cannotbegin to associate. Thanks again, for being there, Jamocha.

  3. Mr. Downing, I’m just wondering if this is the “Doom Gloom” you are talking about? Regardless, I want you to know, I rather read something from the reverend, or his hilarious pal who is also named Jake. Doom Gloom? Not really. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to make Doom Gloom completely banned in Poems and Ponderings, okay? Ciao! Goodnight!😘

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